One step closer

One step closer in the right direction is definitely something to celebrate. 

Last week, I was disappointed with how high my sugars were and that I weighed 279.4. I said that I was going to start taking medication. I set out what I planned except going to the gym. 

So before I started taking my medication for my diabetes again, my sugars were in the 450s regularly for nearly a year now. Yes! Shame on me!!! That's dangerous and I most certainly know better. 

Now that I'm on the medication, I'm sitting at 190s to 205. Yes, still a bit high, but nothing like it use to be. With this being said, I was sick for like 3 days until my body got use to them being that much lower. I felt like I was withdrawing from drugs. I didn't leave the house for like 3 days until it stabilized. 

I know this all sounds like an excuse, but until I could walk down the 3 flights of stairs without worrying about falling down them, I wasn't taking a chance to lower my sugars even more by working out. 

I'm happy I took the first step to getting my health back. Today I will be heading to the gym after work and killing my legs on the weight machines. I'm totally stoked about it too. I can't WAIT!!!!

I'm also proud to say that I'm officially down 3.4 pounds from last week. I'm now an even 276. YEY!!! 

I can't wait for the rest of this week! I can do this. 

Diabetes

This week's blog is about something that is very personal to me. I'm going deep about it.

DIABETES! 

I do not speak lightly of such a disease. It is devastating for both the family and the one who has it. It causes great stress and extreme worry. It's a silent killer. 

I was diagnosed with it since I was 23 years old. I'm still dealing with that diagnoses. I at one point just gave up completely. I know. I know. But when you get diagnosed with diabetes, it sorta causes a depression that I can't even begin to describe. 

My father had complication from it nearly losing limbs. My grandmother died from complication from it. So hearing my doctor tell me I have it, everything shut down and I went into immediately denial for nearly 10 years.

I had ER doctors yell at me about not taking at least pills to reduce how high my sugars would go. I had doctors scare me into changing my eating habits and losing weight just so I didn't have to start taking insulin. Yes, I have a very strong fear of taking insulin. It scares me into change. When that's off the table, I go back to my bad habits. 

I'd be good for a little while by taking my meds, watching the carbs I eat, and going to the gym. These three things go together in order to lower those crazy sugars. Then I get out of the habit. If one part of that equation for me is not being done then I'm back to where I started.

Since I got married, I have seen the upset in my husband's eyes when I check my sugar and it is in the mid 400s or higher. It breaks my heart and I don't wish to keep him so worried and stressed about it. I have to take hold of what I have and make it better. I can and I most definitely will. 

I was 320 pounds and now I'm 278. If I can do that, this disease is just another challenge I can overcome. I'm determined to get better. Going to the gym every day I can with my husband, I am planning it out with him. No soda whether it is diet or sugary kind. More salads and smoothies daily are another change. Starting up on my diabetic medication is another thing I am getting with my doctor on. I'm done with diabetes. 

Yes, I'm willing if that's what I have to do, take insulin. I just have to accept whatever it is to get healthy again and be the best me I can. If not for my family, for myself. I will do whatever it takes.

Today my starting sugars was 353. I'm most definitely not happy about it. It tells me that today is the day I start working on lowering that number. 

TODAY is the day I take my life back!

Accountability even on good & bad weeks

Last week and most of this week, I skipped out on the gym. I'm definitely not proud of that. I need to push myself even when tired to hit the gym. I shouldn't let a long 10 hour day to drag me where I'm too tired to drive around the corner to the gym. I have to find my willpower and push it. 

No punishing myself for a bad week. I'm learning from it and running with it.

My weight is back to 278 and my measurements say I gained +1". 

2nd Measurements & Weight:

WEIGHT -- 278 pounds (same)

NECK -- 17" 

BICEP -- 13" (+1)

FOREARM -- 9" (+0.5)

CHEST -- 50.5" (-0.5)

WAIST -- 48" (+0.5)

HIPS -- 55.5" (-0.5)

THIGH -- 21.5" (-1)

CALF -- 14.5" (+1)

TOTAL: +1"

It definitely could be worse and so as I continue on the road to getting healthy, I learn and grow. It's not an easy road, but it is so worth it. 

May this week be a much better one starting today (Wednesday, Feb. 15th). 

Gym Time

Yes, this last week has been much better than the week before. My hubby and I went to the gym a couple times. My arms even yelled at me that they aren't use to doing weights. I felt that for a few days afterwards. That was a weird feeling. It felt like each day the pain increased until the third day when it stopped bothering me. 

I'll tell you what, I'd rather my arms scream at me than to be sick in the bed because I'm not doing the right things for my body.

I lost 2 more pounds. I'm not 275 pounds and feel great! 

I'm actually looking forward to our workouts after work. I'm disappointed when we can't. Some nights it is nearly impossible to and I understand that. I'm just getting into a habit where I really am starting to like working out and moving more. 

Here's to a goofy me and a better life!

Another week down

Another week down! Yes, it is. 

This last week was my birthday week. That means I had cake and foods that I maybe wouldn't normally have. In fact, I think I let this week be the week I wasn't working hard on getting healthy. 

AGAIN, I'm not upset with myself for this. Why beat yourself up for allowing yourself to do whatever it wants? I love myself and want to know why I do things. This week is a week on reflecting what is going on and how to work on it.

Still it was a birthday week for me. I turned the ripe old age of....should I say? Of course, I should! A number is only a number unless you give it power and feeling. I turned 38 on January 27th. I have 2 more years until my best years begin. I heard 40 is the new 20. 

I took last week off and I didn't have a gain. I'm still 277. I'm very proud that I didn't run wild and do whatever I felt like. I did a lot of what I normally would have done in moderation. I consider that a break through and am proud of that.

Here's to another week down and many more to go.