Diabetes

This week's blog is about something that is very personal to me. I'm going deep about it.

DIABETES! 

I do not speak lightly of such a disease. It is devastating for both the family and the one who has it. It causes great stress and extreme worry. It's a silent killer. 

I was diagnosed with it since I was 23 years old. I'm still dealing with that diagnoses. I at one point just gave up completely. I know. I know. But when you get diagnosed with diabetes, it sorta causes a depression that I can't even begin to describe. 

My father had complication from it nearly losing limbs. My grandmother died from complication from it. So hearing my doctor tell me I have it, everything shut down and I went into immediately denial for nearly 10 years.

I had ER doctors yell at me about not taking at least pills to reduce how high my sugars would go. I had doctors scare me into changing my eating habits and losing weight just so I didn't have to start taking insulin. Yes, I have a very strong fear of taking insulin. It scares me into change. When that's off the table, I go back to my bad habits. 

I'd be good for a little while by taking my meds, watching the carbs I eat, and going to the gym. These three things go together in order to lower those crazy sugars. Then I get out of the habit. If one part of that equation for me is not being done then I'm back to where I started.

Since I got married, I have seen the upset in my husband's eyes when I check my sugar and it is in the mid 400s or higher. It breaks my heart and I don't wish to keep him so worried and stressed about it. I have to take hold of what I have and make it better. I can and I most definitely will. 

I was 320 pounds and now I'm 278. If I can do that, this disease is just another challenge I can overcome. I'm determined to get better. Going to the gym every day I can with my husband, I am planning it out with him. No soda whether it is diet or sugary kind. More salads and smoothies daily are another change. Starting up on my diabetic medication is another thing I am getting with my doctor on. I'm done with diabetes. 

Yes, I'm willing if that's what I have to do, take insulin. I just have to accept whatever it is to get healthy again and be the best me I can. If not for my family, for myself. I will do whatever it takes.

Today my starting sugars was 353. I'm most definitely not happy about it. It tells me that today is the day I start working on lowering that number. 

TODAY is the day I take my life back!